Meeting
people outside online
Sooner or later, most of us want to meet
our newfound online friends offline and
see if the person behind the screen is
someone that we like to spend time with
outside the Internet as well. Before you
go about and set up a first meeting, there
are several things to keep in mind.
1.) Have you been honest about yourself
and your expectations? If not, you are
wasting someone’s time and being
dishonest is not a good way of getting
new friends or building a romantic relationship.
If you are guilty of a white lie, e.g.
if the picture you sent was taken 10
years ago, the honourable thing is to
come clean before you meet each other
offline. Your prospective date can then
decide for herself if she still wants
to see you, and she can make the decision
in the comfort of her own home instead
of having to go through the discomfort
of arriving to a date only to find out
that the person she has agreed to see
look nothing like his picture. You may
think that the best course of action
is to say nothing and then win her over
with your charm during the date, but
arriving to a date only to find out
that the person look nothing like their
picture will give most people a chill.
Her first thought will probably be “If
he has lied about this, what else is
he lying about?”
2.) Do not assume that women are the
only ones who need to be concerned about
safety issues. Just as in the offline
world, the Internet is filled with both
good and bad people, and staying away
from the bad people is equally important
for both sexes. There heave been several
highly publicised cases where men have
been robbed, scammed or even physically
injured by their “dates”.
3.) Keep in mind that if you give someone
your telephone number, they can do a
reverse search and find out your home
address. There are also a few nutcases
out there that will harass people over
the phone once they have gotten hold
of a number. If you feel concerned,
you can get a pre-paid phone card for
your cell phone and use it only for
online dating. In most countries, you
can buy a pre-paid phone card without
having to register your home address.
If you give out this number to someone
and they start harassing you over the
phone, you can simply discard the phone
card and get a new one with a new number.
4.) Trust your instincts. If something
feels really bad, call off the date.
Do not go on dates simply to “be
nice” or because you feel obliged
to after having spent so much time chatting
online. Your own safety must be your
primary concern. Feeling nervous about
a first date is perfectly normal, but
feeling really bad is not.
5.) The first few meetings should always
be in a public place, e.g. a café
or a restaurant. A person that respects
you and have honest intentions will
never try to pressure you into seeing
him or her in a non-public place.
6.) Stay sober. If you allow yourself
to become intoxicated during your first
date, you may agree do to things that
wouldn’t normally do, e.g. agree
to follow your date to a non-public
place. You may also embarrass yourself
in front of your date. If you have been
sober during chats and telephone calls,
why wouldn’t they like the sober
you now?
7.) Sooner or later, most people want
to start seeing each other in non-public
places, e.g. by going on a trip together
or visiting each others homes. When
you reach this point, make sure that
you tell a close friend what you are
up to. Tell him or her about your online
date and give out names, addresses,
phone numbers, how long you plan on
being away and so on. It can also be
a good idea to give your friend a call
once in a while.